Just Some Thoughts

I would like to preface this with a note on my hesitations to write a blog. As you may or may not know I did write while I was in Scotland a few years ago. Things were totally new and I supposed that people might enjoy exploring with me as I spent weekends watching my beard grow and hanging out with sheep (as well as meeting fabulous people and profusely enjoying myself). What may be apparent is that I didn't continue to write upon my return due to one reason or another.

So my hesitation is this (and has been vocalised with Katie): I am not sure what I have to write about that is truly worth writing. So my preface includes an apology for this if you find it to be boorish and perhaps unnecessary (I also find Katie's introduction to marital blogging to be somewhat intimidating.)

James 1:2 - Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

We are learning the "count it all joy" part. There's no question that "various kinds" become our state regularly. But how do you greet a day that seems utterly exhausting before you get out of bed? What do you think of yourself as a man when you come home to see your wife's dinner plate alone in the sink and the remainder has well cooled before you got home? How do you best spend your evenings after work so that she can remain esteemed and valued?

There are infinite questions to ask concerning the practicals of life particularly in an area that makes it a mission to take as much as it can from you through its nearly fatal commutes (I would like to say this is a bit theatrical and exaggerative but sadly it is reality for millions of people). Perhaps you have experienced this?

So I suppose that good advice as this point would be that tomorrow has enough worries of its own. But how does one get there? And I don't presume to have an elaborate answer but I have experienced the beginnings or the workings of insight. Katie calls me a glutton for punishment. And I would have to agree. When it comes to pushing the limits I will admit that I am not what some call... normal. (You know you're sick when you think that riding a bike for half a day is perfectly normal and culturally commonplace.) Aside from all of that my direction leads to the second portion of the verse... which in my opinion is a bit understated because of the premier difficulty and practicality of the first portion (joy and trials). What goes missing and I have found very culturally difficult is a value of steadfast perseverance.

Whether you see statistics in divorce or drop-outs, suicides or abortions, absent fathers or yard work or dishes. In the end the topic is irrelevant. The truth is: we are not inherent finishers. So how does one fully expend at work and then fight their way home and still finish the day, fully enamored with their wife and fully helpful in household responsibilities? There is no way. Just no way. But I have found that each day when I walk in the door there is a moment in time where that question is posed. And in many circumstances of life it is evident that one chooses or must make a choice but one rarely comprehends the moment in time that such a decision was initially or finally settled upon. To say it another way: one can seldom remember when they made a particular conscious choice or what definitive thoughts led up to the choice. But I get into psychology here and that is neither my predilection nor my expertise.

We can then transition to math for a complete digression: Mathematically there is a definitive moment when you solve 542/12.5. You sit on the question and then at last you find the answer seems to pop like a kernel of delicious popcorn made by Katie on the stove. Life doesn't usually work that way for me. I discover that a choice has already been made and I am already living it out. While this concerns me in other areas and how inputs effect me and my subconscious decision-making process, it is not the case in this instance. In the instance of stepping foot in my home and being greeted by an insanely welcoming wife the choice lingers in the air for at least 3 seconds.

The moral of the story (not fearing sounding tiresomely prosaic): I have never found an evening where I actively chose Christ and actively loved Katie where I have found an instant surge of energy or rush of the Holy Spirit like Samson ripping down pillars. But neither have I found myself disappointed even though I could probably cry out of exhaustion sometimes as I push through cleaning up after dinner.

Now for funny stories (you may find it necessary to stop reading here if you are too dignified for my strange sense of humour):

1. One time I ate a maggot off of a tree whilst hiking.
2. I forgot a utensil for lunch three days in a row when I had chicken noodle soup (which was the bomb- the soup not my ignorance) - Day 1: Dirty construction fingers, Day 2: Dirtier construction fingers, Day 3: Ingenious idea to use a fruit snack wrapper wrapped around a piece of wood to avoid using my fingers (although I can't say it was a whole lot more sanitary)
3. Katie gets totally crazy when I take her on car rides that are too long. We call it car crazy. But if you want to see the real Katie you should take her on a long car ride. It is one of the funniest things to see a tiny ball of insanity bouncing around in the inside of the car when you are trying to drive. She's just a blur of blonde hair and craziness.
4. Katie decided that a motorcycle was cool. I calculated that in a matter of 5 months of commuting on a motorcycle I would have paid for it. Outcome: Kawasaki Vulcan 800.
5. For some reason people got their hopes up yet again for Virginia Tech Hokie football which proved to be entirely consistent with the last decade worth of seasons. I believe the words I would choose are: disheartening, predictable and scant. But we'll get our hopes up again next season and still enjoy the Hokies. Count on it.
6. And perhaps the funniest of them all is Katie's sheer delight when she sees that I have written on our blog.

-Austin
(Apologies for spelling or grammatical errors. I'm not proof-reading as I should. But I do not apologise for British spellings which I simply find more appealing to the eye. Consider them necessary translations for exploring my world)